what's in store for me in the direction i don't take (j.k.)

it was bound to happen sooner or later, the teenager is graduating from high school.  this right of passage, symbolizing adulthood...

my graduation from high school was quite different...pregnant with the now teenager that i referred to above.  my path was set.  i looked for the college education that would provide the shortest route to make a viable income.  gone were dreams of music, art, advocacy...those dreams were frivolous, not afforded to a pregnant teenager from rural southern illinois.

as i look at my daughter, i see the hundreds of paths surrounding her.  which one(s) will she choose?  she's always been the child standing to the left of all the others her age.  quite shy in her earliest years,  it didn't take long for it to become evident that she did not necessarily desire to lead, but would not follow.

i am filled with hope...and much pride.

anxiously awaiting the next chapter in her book.

you been runnin' all over town now, i guess i have to put your flat feet on the ground

four score...and several years ago... after declaring my independence from the patriarchy,  i bought myself a gift.  the gift of a new to me silver mustang convertible.  i know what you're thinking...how cliche...how passe...  wrong.  it was sassy, within my budget and easily financed.  oh fine. it was cliche.  but how i fell in love with that car.

now here i am, all these years later, same car.  

she's moved to boston and back.  survived teenagers learning to drive.  hauled furniture, lawnmowers, christmas trees and bushels of recycling. the headlamps are so dim, that i leave them on bright.  her roof leaks and she's starting to rust.  at times it's nearly impossible to get the hood up.  the cassette player still works.  

with a daily commute of nearly two hours and beyond high mileage, i occasionally consider buying another car.  i probably need to buy another car.  but i can't bring myself to do it.  is it the drag of having a car payment, problem with commitment, loyalty?  maybe.  or maybe i identify with my car.

and she's never left me stranded.  

four days of nothing and everything, nowhere and everywhere

the little company that employs me is being eaten by a big fish, effective today.  my boss encouraged a four day sabbatical, which seemed like a good idea, until she actually enforced the sabbatical, discouraging me from working from home as well.  here i am, day four, sanity intact.  i could have used this time to complete some 'round the house tasks, but...nah.  i have used these four days to read, listen to music, enjoy the weather, play with my seedling plants, nap and watch movies.  yep...that about covers it.  the beau and i enjoyed a sushi and cocktail happy hour, did a little junk browsing, attended the record collector's show and took a walk around gorgeous tower grove park.  i cooked a few meals...a rare, but treasured happening.  we burned up netflix, knocking out several seasons of the twilight zone as well as multiple documentaries - i like killing flies, following sean, the atheism tapes, when you're strange and an encore viewing of marwencol.  it all wraps up with garbage television tonight.  tomorrow morning i'm off to the first of two days in big fish training.